Its so ironic that when you are pregnant, doctors make sure that you are gaining a consistent amount of weight. Not too much and not too little. For me, the second we said we were trying to have a baby my body said, sweet, lets pack on 10 pounds for absolutely no reason. For my first trimester nobody knew I was pregnant, I just looked like a super happy and fat newlywed. Ha! I wish! Well, I take that back. I am and was and am incredibly happy newlywed but the additional 10 pounds had nothing to do with anything and it certainly was not a happy addition to our family.
I was eating a TON of fruits, veggies and hormone free meat. I feel a little slighted that I didn't eat more yummy foods for the weight that I put on, but now thats neither here nor there since I am post birth. Its been a horrible struggle with body image and confidence the last 13ish weeks. Right off the bat, I lost 25 pounds of just water weight. That felt great and I realized I had ankles and knees again :) Pregnancy cankles were not a hot look for me. Everyone around me kept/keeps saying that if you are nursing that weight will literally melt off in weeks. NOPE! With daily walks, post-partum yoga and eating really healthy, I have been able to lose an additional 20 pounds…awesome but I am still struggling to button my pants. After nine months of pull up pants and empire waisted shirts, I was dying to put my regular clothes back on. I have run into two problems: If I am able to get my jeans up my cellulite-y thighs, they are near impossible to button. The really stretchy ones button and then without missing a beat my muffin top spills right on over. EWWW! The other problem is and was my boobs do not fit into my pre pregger tops. I went from a solid A cup to a DD/E, so you can imagine what I look like in my shirts. I dread the day I stop nursing because I am quite certain I will return to being an A cup and hoping that I don't need to always wear an underwire bra to contain my saggy boobs. Ugggg! So, nursing tanks are my new best friend. Its absolutely amazing how truly unattractive they are but extremely convenient and useful. For quality, Bravado nursing tanks take the cake. For looks and a longer length, the Gillian O'Malleys from Target are awesome. So you are wondering…what do these stylish tanks look like. Plain spaghetti strap tank tops with some lace. Yes, lace! I say that with enthusiasm because the second I put on the tank, I felt girly for the first time in a long while.
So here is where I stand…15 pounds over my pre-preggers weight and plateauing. Some people said that they held on to this weight until they stopped nursing when the kid turned one. Thats another 9 months from now…fingers crossed that this is not my destiny. Its been hard enough the last 3 months trying to feel comfortable in my more to love body. The hubs has been so supportive and loving but yet I still feel horribly uncomfortable and unattractive in my stretch marked skin. I am truly envious of women that seem to regain their pre pregnancy figures so quickly after birth. Here is to losing a pound this week :)
