Monday, March 7, 2011

Just when I thought I had a plan...

Its so funny how life can have a totally different plan than the one that I had for myself. Never in a million years did I imagine being a stay at home mom. For all of you that now me, domesticated is not exactly synonymous with my name. I have always loved working and growing professionally especially as of late when I was working for a family foundation. My entire life, I always thought that I would get married, get pregnant, have a fabulous/glowing pregnancy, have the baby and return to work 12 weeks later. HA! I am honestly laughing out loud as I write this post. This is so not what happened…well the first two parts are true. I did marry my best friend and we did get pregnant. Easy pregnancy…I think not! Fabulous and glowing pregnant woman…I beg to differ. I did gain an obscene amount of weight while eating like a rabbit but we did give birth to our healthy, precious baby boy. Return to work…NOPE! In all seriousness, I did try to and there were so many forces working against me that we decided that it was meant to be that I stop working and hang with the little man who laughs at the face bottles. You are thinking to yourself that this would be awesome…right??? Not in the least bit. I love having him with me all the time but since he eats on demand it makes it quite difficult to enjoy a nice big glass of wine or go out to dinner with the hubs. One day….

Not working has brought on a totally new set of adjustments…I don't think I have ever thought about not working. So when it happened all of a sudden, I went through an identity crisis. Kind of like the same one I went through when I officially changed my name after I got married. Its strange. With the name change, I'm the same person on the inside with a new id on the outside. Now, I am the same person on the inside and outside with a new job title, Director of Daily Operations at the Crownholm Household. Yes, it's a self appointed position and title, but I really needed some sort of job with a description to make me feel proud of myself at the end of the day/week/month. When you are working, every time your boss tells you "good job" or a project is finished on time, you feel a sense accomplishment. Being a stay at home mom, you don't get that. Nobody tells me how wonderful your laundry folding is or that you vacuum with such finesse. Nursing your kid also seems to pose the same problem, although I will say that as of late the little man smiles at me after every feed or gives me a pat on the chest. I take that as it was a good feed or job well done mom :)

Even yesterday, the hubs, the babe and I went to a Sign Language class at Day One. Now, I frequent Day One frequently….do I really need to say that I go there almost every single day for a class of some sort. Now, you would think that another weekend class would be a piece of cake. Not even! We get there early, sign in, feed, diaper change, weigh the man and sit down at our seats. Everything appeared to going well and we were the first people there. As the class filled up and the instructor began, the little mister decided he would rather us not learn sign language to communicate with him. He promptly directed me to the room outside the classroom where there were rocking recliners. He was thinking that at noon he would prefer to eat and take a siesta. So we left 30 minutes later with a book on sign language and left to our own devices to learn how to sign properly.

So, I guess the moral of the this story is that just when I think I have made a plan for myself, life or something like it has a whole other one. Such is life!

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