So Many Changes So Little Time

Its been six weeks since the little guy arrived. Its absolutely amazing to watch him grow and even though has been with us for a very short time, I cannot imagine life without him; however, today I realized that the stress from all of life's charges came crashing down on me. The first thing every one says is that I am not getting enough sleep. Not even! This little guy sleeps in four hour spurts during the night. So generally, I wake up once to change his diaper and feed him. So sleep is not my issue. As much as I absolutely love being a mom and cant imagine my life without my baby....its a hard change. I went from being a professional at work, going to meetings and making decisions to being at home almost all day covered in spit up, pee, poo and leaking everywhere. While I do wear sweats/workout clothes a lot, I do try to put on makeup, pull back my hair and try to look decent but its hard when you still have a pregger belly. The maternity pull up pants are too big and honestly, I want to button and zip pants again. All but one pair of my pre pregger jeans are too small. They pull up but certainly do not button. The one pair that does button up are my new faves but its hard to feel good about yourself when your muffin top spill everywhere. To top that all off when I look in the mirror I see three scars from the appendectomy, stretch marks up the wazoo and a 8 inch scar from the c-section. When I think about having another little one in the far future, I wonder how many more scars I can accumulate on my belly. I affectionately refer to my abdomen as scar belly. EWWWW! I guess I will never have the cute maternity photos all my friends have.

Saying all of this makes me feel extremely guilty because its all for the most amazing experience...my son. The million dollar question is when do I stop feeling like a slob and start looking like a put together mom and working professional???

Nursing

Nursing....where do I even begin....

For me, I have never thought about not breastfeeding so I didn't have to go through the decision making that a lot of women I know go through. Although I didn't have to think about this choice, the idea of breastfeeding was overwhelming. These little "A" cup boobies of mine are supposed to be the only things that feed our baby..WHAT?!?! What if they are defective? What if the baby doesnt know how to latch? And then there were a million other "what if" questions that I would constantly drive my husband crazy with. He always had one answer, just wait till the little guy gets here and then freak out. Ha! So off I went to go read about this . I ended up with the "Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" by the La Leche League. Ok, so I know this is a great book but honestly, the title. Like there is a manly art of breastfeeding. The book is super informative and a great resource guide for me as the dude grows and changes.

Ok, so the more personal experiences of nursing. Right after the mini-man was born, the nurses handed him right on over to me to feed. Tears started to well up in my eyes. I didnt know what to do. I looked at my boob and the baby. This should be simple. Baby...boob...still no clue. Thankfully our doula propped up all the pillows and made the magic happen. Oh my goodness, it is the weirdest thing to breastfeed. Oddly enough, as soon as the baby comes near the boob, it all just works. Nature is crazy like that. So for the first week, I was feeling pretty awesome about feeding. Well the colostrum part is easy...its the "real'' milk that brings on all the "oy vay" feelings.

Some things that I dealt with the first 6 weeks:

1) Sore nipples: Wow! I have never had anything that sensitive before. All the wonderful creams I own, like "Nipple Cream," help for about a minute and then oww factor is back. This does get better over time. Not a problem at all now.

2) Itchy boobs: Yup! Itchy boobs from all the increased blood flow to your boobs. They itched every where all the time. I couldnt even help myself from scratching. I dont even think I noticed that I did it when I was out of the house. No matter how much lotion you lather on...the itch continues

3) Leaking: Ok, this is an on going problem far beyond the first 6 weeks. I bought the reusable/washable boob pads by bravado in an effort to be eco-friendly. While you can reuse them, the major downfall is leaking right through them within an hour. There is nothing weirder than when you husband motions look at your boobs and you look down and there are some nice milk rings....UGHHH! The ones I currently swear by are by Lasinoh. I have to leak through and they last all day. Fabulous as far as boob pads are concerned

4) Pumping: I totally get why you pump. There are times that the little guy is not hungry and your boobs are hard as rocks full of milk. Just to get rid of that feeling, pumping is the only option; however, for me, pumping makes me feel like a cow. You squeeze your milk into a bag and then label it for a "best used by date." Real womanly right?!?! Another thing, while it is super convenient that my pump has a car adapter...its just not right

Life Lately

So somewhere in between my blogging, life took off on a fast track. Lots of incredible things have happened and then some other things happened. As I start to look back, they have all been good things in hind sight...just sometimes hard to deal with in the moment. Lets see...lets start with the fun stuff:

1)We found out we are having a baby boy!!!! Yeah!!! He still remains nameless to this day...so we will fondly refer to him as the "little dude" or "little mr. crownholm."

2)We went on a fabulous road trip/camping trip through Oregon and had the best time ever. The timing couldnt have been better to go on the trip because I found my new favorite item to crave but I cant find it anywhere here...Tillamook ice cream. Its a must have...seriously!!!!

3) We set up the nursery and got the little guy all outfitted

4) Went to Fresno, to see my "baby" sis compete at Miss California :) She won and now the little mr. has a pretty famous aunt!! He is so excited to meet her!

The "other" stuff:

Muze T-shirt from my cousin

I got my appendix out at 4 1/2 months preggers. I would say it was really scary except for the fact that I didnt even get time to do internet research and so on. I woke up one Friday morning to go to the gym before work and I was burning up. You know you are the only one with a temperature problem when you look at the Alaskan Malamute and he looks at you like you are crazy for being hot...then I started to feel cramping in the right side of my abdomen. I started to panic because I thought I was having a late miscarriage, which is really hard to think about after you just found out the sex of your baby. So i called my OB and they said...nope you are definitely not having a miscarriage...PHEW! They recommended I call my primary care doctor to see what was up. So off to the nurse practitioner I went...she was very sweet and awesome! She wrote me up a bunch of papers to take over to John Muir to have them run some tests later that day. She said it may be your appendix but probably not, so for peace of mind this weekend just head over to the hospital before you get home from work. Cool! So back to work I went...emailed the hubby and said I was stopping to have some tests done on my way home and then we would be off to celebrating our 1st anniversary. Well...I stopped at the hospital, they saw me right away, ran some blood tests and an ultrasound of the appendix. It was so fast for the ER, I really thought that they gave preference to pregnant women. Haha...nope! I learned later what could happen if your appendix bursts...its some serious business. Long story short....the hubs left the antepartum ward, where the the little dude and I were being watched, at 9pm to catch some Zzzzs and hang with the goons. Well, at 9:30ish my blood pressure plummeted and the pain went sky high. But since I wasnt screaming or crying yet, the docs werent convinced I needed my "appendage" out yet. So they strongly suggested I finally take some pain meds and 10mg of ambien and then they would assess if the little appendage needed to be taken out. The TV was turned off and drugs were taken....a couple hours later I was still wide awake and in pain. Finally at 2am, the docs came in to tell me I was having surgery as a precautionary measure. At 5am, I woke up footloose and appendix free....WOOHOO! The hubs was there bright and early to celebrate our first anniversary in a hospital bed at John Muir :)

he aftermath of having an appendix out laparoscopically while pregnant

Post Partum Planning....Oy!

Its totally crazy...just as you are getting excited about having a baby....you have to start thinking about all the wonderfulness after birthing the little munchkin. Its been quite the learning curve and I have to say there really has not been anything too attractive about it. What I have learned:

1) You should bring your breast pump to the hospital with you so the lactation nurse (yes, there is such a thing) can teach how to use it. I thought it was totally self explanatory until I bought mine. I got the Medela Swing and Style...right, a stylish breast pump. Really?!?!? There are more parts and pieces that I every thought. And what can be stylish about a breast pump????

2)Nursing tanks come in all kinds of styles and methods and honestly can be really difficult to decipher how they work exactly. These suckers should come with an instruction manual.
Word to the preggo mamma: Even though these wonderful nursing tanks claim to be extra long and can be worn in the last tri-mester for comfort..DON'T! Yes they are comfy but no...the belly still hangs out of the bottom. So not attractive. In my arsenal, I have some from Glamourmom, Bravado, Motherhood Maternity and Pea in a Pod. I will let you know what I think in a few months

3) Nursing Bras...didnt think anything of it until my wonderful husband pulled them out of the package and was like "What are these things?!?!" I never even thought about how unattractive these things were although they were made by Le Mystere and Bella Materna. I mean Nordstroms sellls them so they really cant be that bad right. I would take a picture but that just seems wrong.

4)Belly Bandit: After birth, this belly band made of bamboo is supposed to help everything go back to its original place and support your shrinking uterus. What my uterus needs support?!?! Oy vay, I have a lot to learn...

I have not even had the little guy yet and already I feel pressure to lose all this baby weight. Post partum, I am not sure I will ever be ready to face you

Blah!

Everyone is totally different. Some people are in love with being pregnant, others simply hate it and then there are those of us impatiently waiting until we can share the good news and get that oh-so-fabulous pregnancy glow...That's me! Week 9 and 10 are a beast. I honestly don't know if I could sleep any more (at least 10 hours per night), workout any more and eat any healthier and yet I am still cant shake these 7 pounds pregnancy has brought to my boobs and belly. I look like a really happy newlywed who has let myself go...We havent really told very many people we are expecting but I guess the tiredness gives it away. Last night I stopped by Junior League, far too tired to stay the whole time, and a good friend of mine said "wow, you look really tired...are you pregnant?" Bingo! Wow! I was super impressed with that. I am oh so not-so-patiently waiting for that "glow"

The Gummy Bear

So we went in for another look at the mini-crownholm. Its crazy to think that just a few weeks ago it was the size of a pin prick ( we nicknamed it "the prick") and now it looks like a gummy bear/turtle. Its absolutely amazing to see your baby growing inside of you but seriously hard to keep a straight face as they show you the ultra sound. I think my husband asked the doctor if our baby was supposed to look like a turtle...it was the funniest thing I have ever heard. Now we are anxiously awaiting the next, next appointment so we can find out what the mini-Crownholm is going to be.

In the meantime...I have kept myself extra busy with the online gender prediction/wives tales. I took the Chinese Gender predictor and from the looks of it we are having a girl. Next, I moved on to the necklace with the pendant trick. It went in circles over my wrist but the husband is convinced that subconsciously I am doing that since I think we are having a girl. Here are some other ones I have tried out:


1) Carrying a baby high is a girl, low is a boy

2) A boy’s heart rate will be under 140, a girl’s is over.
3) Take a necklace with a pendant and hold it over your hand, a circle is a girl and back and forth is a boy.
4) Craving something sweet is a girl, sour is a boy.

5) Early morning sickness means it’ll be a girl
6)You sleep with the pillow to the north it’ll be a boy, to the south will be a girl
7) If your husband/significant other puts on weight it will be a girl.
8) If your feet are colder now you’ll be having a boy.
9) Your urine is bright yellow means you’ll have a boy.
10) If your nose is spreading during the pregnancy it’ll be a boy, stays the same it’s a girl.
11) If you look like a basketball it will be a boy, if you look like a watermellon you are having a girl
12) craving fruit is a girl, craving meat is a good sign to having a boy.
13) If you have scrawny looking hair, it’ll be a girl. Luscious hair is a boy.

Baby Got Back

I have to say, after all of the comments and pictures of glowing pregnant women...I definitely thought I would feel the same...wouldn't that be nice. The first trimester has to be the hardest thing in the world. I have put on 7 lbs in my gut...not cute! My boobs have grown two cup sizes in the last few weeks and my pants are not buttoning the way they are supposed to. Well...let me rephrase that...I can button my pants but I feel like a really fat pig in a small blanket if you know what I mean. LOL. I am officially one of those girls you see and go "Could she not find something in her size?!?!"

So this weekend, I was supposed to go to the Miss San Francisco pageant and what do you know...I don't look so hot in my dresses. Huge boobs and a gut...i dont think so especially when you arent telling people that you are pregnant yet. What are you supposed to say?!?! I cant help myself...hmmm...this is the issue I have been dealing with. To put salt in the wounds a little...my doc told me I shouldnt have gained any weight yet...I eat really healthy and workout at least 5 times a week. I have no idea whats going on....Tune in for more updates...Not all is glowing in pregnancy land...

Bun in the Oven

A few weeks ago, I started feeling all emotional, bloated and having the chills. Naturally, I thought Auntie Flo was coming to visit. Why wouldn't I think that??? Well, I was wrong. Auntie was definitely not coming and maybe not for a really long time. Sad! Not really! I went and took a pregnancy test and two seconds later...THERE IT WAS...two dark blue faithful lines staring right back at me. I wanted to ask the test, "Are you serious???" but alas these tests do not come with audio. My first instinct was to run and find my husband and let him know. I then I thought maybe he would want to find out in a fun way. I mean how many times do you get to do this in a life time :)

So I racked my brains the next day and came up with a plan. After mulling over several options...I came up with the ONE! Instead of describing it, I pictured it (See below)



OK,OK...in hindsight it looks really cheesy and my husbands first instinct was to eat it. In his defense, it was his favorite brand of cinnamon buns.

Baby C here we come!!!

Tiaras to the Burbs

Its hard to imagine that a little over five years ago, I was Miss California. I think at that moment, I thought that competing at Miss America was by far and away THE best thing that could ever happen in my life. Life took a strange turn of events over the past 3 years and I have learned A LOT to say the least. Just when I thought I was doomed to live as dog woman for the rest of my life. I know, I know, its supposed to be a cat woman but I have acquired two wonderful and strange hybrid dogs (a beagle-coon hound and a dobermain cockerspaniel)...my girls. And then it all changed. On a random Sunday in February, I met the man of my dreams at where else...the dog park. I always thought it would be Trader Joes...but no! Nothing could be better than meeting your future husband over poop bags. Totally serious! 2 years later, we live in the burbs with 3 lovely goons (dogs) and are completely busy being newlyweds. And thats where the story begins...