Monday, December 20, 2010

So Many Changes So Little Time

Its been six weeks since the little guy arrived. Its absolutely amazing to watch him grow and even though has been with us for a very short time, I cannot imagine life without him; however, today I realized that the stress from all of life's charges came crashing down on me. The first thing every one says is that I am not getting enough sleep. Not even! This little guy sleeps in four hour spurts during the night. So generally, I wake up once to change his diaper and feed him. So sleep is not my issue. As much as I absolutely love being a mom and cant imagine my life without my baby....its a hard change. I went from being a professional at work, going to meetings and making decisions to being at home almost all day covered in spit up, pee, poo and leaking everywhere. While I do wear sweats/workout clothes a lot, I do try to put on makeup, pull back my hair and try to look decent but its hard when you still have a pregger belly. The maternity pull up pants are too big and honestly, I want to button and zip pants again. All but one pair of my pre pregger jeans are too small. They pull up but certainly do not button. The one pair that does button up are my new faves but its hard to feel good about yourself when your muffin top spill everywhere. To top that all off when I look in the mirror I see three scars from the appendectomy, stretch marks up the wazoo and a 8 inch scar from the c-section. When I think about having another little one in the far future, I wonder how many more scars I can accumulate on my belly. I affectionately refer to my abdomen as scar belly. EWWWW! I guess I will never have the cute maternity photos all my friends have.

Saying all of this makes me feel extremely guilty because its all for the most amazing son. The million dollar question is when do I stop feeling like a slob and start looking like a put together mom and working professional???

1 comment:

  1. V-
    I love your honesty in this blog entry. Isn't it crazy how much you can love someone in such a short amount of time? Please keep posting pictures of your little guy... he is adorable.

    SOOOO I wanted to provide support for your question at the end. You WILL get back to that pre-baby weight, you just might be shaped a little bit differently. Right now you are in the heart of the difficult times when it comes to sizing. I have only been through this process once (I know there are many others out there who have been through it several times)... but the best answer I can give you is this- be at peace with yourself. You have a "new body" now and are more beautiful than ever. Find peace in feeling healthy... I have found this year that my health is my most treasured blessing.
    I have no doubt you are an amazing mom. It is absolutely the most challenging job in the world, but it is without a doubt, the most rewarding.

    Hope you are doing well.